A content creator who speaks openly about reparenting, healing, and personal growth has shared a deeply personal account of growing up in an abusive household and the years-long journey it took to rebuild her sense of self.
Altamisha Matthew, who creates content focused on sovereignty, healing, and midlife transformation, said some of the deepest wounds people carry are not inflicted by strangers but by the people closest to them.
“Some of us weren’t broken by strangers,” Matthew wrote in a social media post. “We were wounded at home.”
Thousands of viewers were deeply moved after she revealed that her mother repeatedly criticized her appearance throughout her childhood.
“Growing up, my mother told me I was the ugliest child she ever had,” Matthew said in a video accompanying the post.
According to Matthew, the criticism went far beyond occasional harsh words. She recalled being constantly told what was wrong with her, from her hair texture to the way she walked.
“She hated my hair texture. She hated I walked on my tippy toes like my father. I was too slow. I was too sensitive,” she said.
A Childhood Marked by Pain
Reflecting on her early years in Mississippi, Matthew said she has few memories of what many would consider a normal childhood.
“When I think about growing up in Mississippi, I don’t remember a childhood,” she said. “I remember violence. I remember sadness. I remember trauma.”
She also recalled being told she would never succeed in life.
Those experiences, she said, left lasting emotional scars and created a negative inner voice that followed her into adulthood.
In her social media post, Matthew explained that being labeled “the ugliest child” by her own mother planted beliefs about herself that took years to overcome.
“A father’s absence made it louder,” she wrote. “And for a long time, I believed it.”
Finding a Way Out
At age 18, Matthew joined the United States military, describing the decision as an attempt to escape the environment in which she had grown up.
The experience proved transformative.
“At the age of 18, I joined the United States Army as a way to escape,” she said. “And for the first time, I felt safer than I ever felt in my mother or father’s house.”
Matthew said the military gave her something she had been missing for much of her life: a sense of belonging:
“In the U.S. Army, I felt like I belong. The military gave me a family.”
The experience became a turning point that helped her begin envisioning a different future for herself.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
After her military service, Matthew pursued a career in nursing, a profession she says was influenced by her own experiences with pain and vulnerability.
“I became a nurse because I understood what it felt like to be in pain, to be vulnerable, and not have anyone to protect you,” she said.
“Nursing was my way to advocate, heal, and to protect.”
She later became an author, using writing as another tool for healing and truth-telling.
“The author of me was born to tell the truth, to eliminate the shame that I had been carrying from all those wounds,” Matthew explained.
Today, she identifies herself not by the labels she was given as a child, but by the life she has built.
“I’m a veteran. I’m a nurse. I’m a mother. And I’m an author,” she said. “Everything that I became was born from surviving.”
The Work of Reparenting
Central to Matthew’s message is the concept of “reparenting,” the intentional process of giving oneself the love, compassion, and emotional support that may have been missing during childhood.
She said healing required confronting painful memories and caring for the younger version of herself who endured years of criticism and neglect.
“I had to repair the little girl inside of me who was called ugly by her mother and neglected by her father,” she said.
In her post, she stated that healing does not mean pretending painful experiences never happened.
“Healing isn’t pretending it didn’t hurt,” she wrote. “It’s choosing to give yourself what you never received.”
Matthew also offered encouragement to others carrying similar emotional wounds.
“So if you are here and you carry those same wounds, welcome to my journey,” she said. “You deserve love. You deserve compassion. And you deserve to heal.”
Her story has resonated with many viewers who see their own experiences reflected in her words, highlighting broader conversations about childhood trauma, emotional abuse, self-worth, and the long-term impact of family relationships.
For Matthew, however, the most important lesson came after years of unlearning the messages she received as a child.
“I was never ugly,” she wrote. “I was unloved in the ways I needed.”
And, she added, she is proud of the woman she is becoming because she chose to stay, heal, and do the work.
