A family law attorney is challenging parents who deliberately exclude willing co-parents from their children’s lives.
Attorney Shamika T. Askew, who practices family law in Florida and Michigan, drew attention on social media with a blunt question aimed at mothers who refuse to co-parent despite having an involved and capable father available.
“If you didn’t want to co-parent, why didn’t you go to the sperm bank?” Askew asked in a video that has generated discussion about custody disputes, parental alienation, and the best interests of children.
The attorney explained that her comments were not directed at every mother or every custody situation, particularly cases involving abuse, neglect, or legitimate safety concerns. Instead, she said she was addressing situations in which one parent intentionally excludes the other for personal reasons unrelated to the child’s welfare.
“You literally could have a child on your own and be a single parent,” Askew said. “A lot of you guys are signing up voluntarily to be single parents when you don’t have to be because you have fathers who are ready, willing, and able.”
The video touched on the controversial issue of parental alienation, a term often used to describe efforts by one parent to damage or interfere with a child’s relationship with the other parent.
Drawing from her decade of legal experience, Askew said she has frequently encountered situations where one parent attempts to block access to a child without a legal justification.
“Both mothers and fathers like to alienate one parent from the other,” she said. “But I see mothers doing it way more than fathers in my 10 years of practicing family law.”
According to Askew, many of the cases she has observed stem not from concerns about parenting ability but from unresolved conflicts between former partners.
“Most of the time they don’t have any legal basis as to the alienation,” she said. “It’s usually they got in their feelings, they’re pissed off and it’s an ‘I’ma get you back.’”
The attorney argued that children ultimately bear the consequences when parents use custody or visitation as a tool for retaliation.
“At the end of the day, we’re only hurting our children when we do that,” Askew said.
The comments come amid ongoing national conversations about shared parenting, fathers’ involvement in children’s lives, and family court systems that increasingly emphasize the importance of maintaining healthy relationships with both parents whenever possible.
Research has consistently shown that children generally benefit when both parents remain actively involved in their upbringing, provided the environment is safe and supportive.
Askew concluded her message by urging parents engaged in unnecessary co-parenting conflicts to reconsider their actions.
“If you are a mother that’s doing it, I challenge you to get it together,” she said.
While her remarks have sparked disagreement among some social media users, they have also resonated with parents and advocates who argue that custody decisions should prioritize children’s needs over lingering disputes between adults.
“They don’t go to the sperm bank because they can’t collect child support that way,” one person commented.
For Askew, the issue comes down to a simple principle: when a parent is ready, willing, and able to participate in a child’s life, personal grievances should not stand in the way of that relationship.
