Shine My Crown Read by Alexa
Amber Ruffin said what we were all thinking when she tackled the new restrictive abortion law recently passed in Texas.
While we all agree that the Texas law is ludicrous — Ruffin wants to know why the state is limiting its focus to a woman’s reproductive system.
According to Ruffin, they should make themselves responsible for everything to do with the female body and not “just the uterus.”
She says, “make it all your problem.”
“I’m lactose intolerant and I love ice cream, so every time I want to have Dairy Queen, tackle me. And you better be strong too because I love a Peanut Buster Parfait. Tell four-margaritas-in Amber that she can’t have a fifth — try and reason with her, I dare you.
She adds, “Good luck finding the candy I have hidden from my husband. He can’t find it and he knows me. If I have the poops, it’s on you,” Ruffin quipped.
“All I’m saying, if you’re in charge of one region of my body, what sense does that make?” she asked. “Just the uterus? At least take the whole bottom half. I want a federally funded pedicure. You can even pick the color, I can never decide anyway.”
“So just make ’em so I can wear sandals without feeling sad. Can you do that? Of course you can’t, you dumb f—ks,” Ruffin resolved. “So don’t take charge of the biggest decision I’ll ever make in my whole damn life when you can’t even get me a goddamn pedicure.”
The Department of Justice is gearing up to file suit against Texas over its new law outlawing most abortions. Under the new law, any abortion performed over six weeks are illegal, and anyone who “aids and abets” women seeking an abortion could end up with a hefty fine.
The law does not make exceptions for rape or incest.