Chrissy Teigen has opened up about her recent struggle with depression after she was ‘canceled’ by social media for cyberbullying.
The model-turned-chef writes that she “just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world” while feeling bad in the real world.”
“Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race,” her caption reads. “But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer.”
During an interview with The Daily Beast, Courtney Stodden accused the model of sending them a barrage of hateful messages. Stodden faced an influx of media criticism for marrying 51-year-old Doug Hutchison in 2011. While most would see her as a victim, Teigen chose to victimize her.
“[Teigen] wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself,” Stodden said. “Things like, ‘I can’t wait for you to die.'”
Soon after, several large retailers, including Target and Macy’s, announced they would no longer be carrying Teigen’s cookware in their stores.
The lesson has been a tough one for Teigen, who has since been in a mostly reflective space.
“I feel lost and need to find my place again,I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!!” she wrote.
Teigen acknowledged in an apology posted to Medium that she had bullied other people, describing herself as a troll.
“Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it,” the caption read. “And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks.”
