Michelle Williams, member of girl group Destiny’s Child, has revealed that groupmates Beyoncé Knowles and Kelly Rowland had no idea she was battling depression during her time with the group.
She wrote about her experience candidly in an open letter published by The Sydney Morning Herald.
“I remember my very first Grammys appearance in the year 2000. I had never been “dressed” by a designer and I got to wear this beautiful two-piece Escada gown,” she said.
She went on to describe the dress, adding that it was a “surreal” moment for her. But under the surface, Williams says she was falling apart.
Williams says reports in the media started to plague the group.
“The media wanted to write its own narrative of jealousy and spats and drama, but none of that was true. I’m sure we had disagreements like any friends or co-workers do, but ultimately we all had a deep respect for each other as artists and as women,” she wrote.
She says two decades on, the trio are still tight… but she kept her depression hidden from them.
“It’s difficult to put into words exactly what depression feels like for me. It may be completely different from how it feels for you. Sometimes it’s a numbness. It’s this pervasive sense of nothing-matters-and-nothing-ever-will-really-matter that lingers in the background of every moment,” she described.
She continued.”Beyoncé and Kelly had no idea what I was struggling with, but that’s on me. I never said a word to them. I’m not even sure I had the vocabulary to say how I felt at that time. Then, in 2005, in the same bomb-dropping fashion that I had landed my gig with Destiny’s Child, it ended.”
Despite the group coming to an end six years later, Williams said the group ended just as she started to feel as though she belonged.
You can read the full op-ed over at The Sydney Morning Herald.