In a bold and thought-provoking post that has stirred conversation across social media, Adrianna Onubogu — known online as The Soft Power Strategist — is encouraging women to rethink how they approach modern dating. Her message? “Date two men.”
But Onubogu insists it’s not about playing games. It’s about emotional self-preservation.
“You date two so you don’t lose yourself in one,” she explained in an Instagram video shared with her 250,000 followers. “When you date one man too soon, you attach before you assess. Dating two at a time keeps you grounded, observant, and emotionally balanced.”
The post, originally uploaded to Onubogu’s Instagram and reshared by influencer @pablo.manriquez, quickly went viral, drawing both applause and debate from women across different age groups.
“I don’t want you to do this to play games,” Onubogu clarified. “I want you to do this so that you protect your emotions and choose the man not just good for where you are, but where you’re going.”
In her accompanying video, Onubogu elaborates on a familiar emotional trap many women fall into: giving loyalty too early.
“If you meet a guy on Monday and another on Thursday, your loyalty is not to the guy you met on Monday — you just met him,” she said. “Operate like a woman who’s dating with intention, not like one already in a relationship after one date.”
She adds that exclusivity should always be earned, not assumed.
“Anyone that asks you for exclusivity before they’ve given you a reason to give that to them is not the kind of person you should be in a relationship with,” she said.
Her perspective has resonated deeply with women who have felt burned by rushing into relationships. One commenter wrote, “This is true! When you allow more than one man to court you at a time, you are less likely to attach too quickly to outcomes and focus on the fun of dating. The better man will always step up & quickly!”
Onubogu, who is married, says her advice comes from experience and observation, not bitterness.
“I have men who hate that I say this,” she admitted with a laugh, “but I’m married, so I can say whatever I want — especially for the women who want to hear it.”
Her message taps into a larger cultural conversation about women reclaiming power in romantic relationships — a topic that continues to dominate online discussions around dating, feminism, and emotional self-worth.
