Model and reality star Jessica White, who is set to appear on the upcoming season of Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, has opened up about her past relationship with comedian Nick Cannon in a heartfelt Instagram post, which has since been taken down.
“I know you’re upset about the show but after eight years I can’t stand when things catch you off guard,” she began, “and I feel like you deserve way more respect as a man even though I may be more respectful than you ever gave me with public announcements.”
The Victoria’s Secret model and the Drumline actor dated briefly in 2015 and said that she gave him “eight ride or die years,” all while “praying” that he’d “see me the way I deserved.”
“I wanted it to work, prayed every day that you’d see me and love me the way that I loved you. Maybe you did but just kept it from me during the relationship,” she continued. “I walked away with more questions than anything, I don’t know till this day really why current things had to happen.”
The 38-year-old New York native further revealed that she wants “the world to know” that she “didn’t always feel good, like [Cannon] was proud to have me as a partner.”
“I’m so happy I can say that now and still know how awesome I am,” she wrote. “I’m proud I can say the truth and how I’m healthy emotionally and wouldn’t change my insane insecurities that I prayed off my life.”
She continued: “I never felt love that was safe even as a kid so no Nick you didn’t cause that pain I had it long before us but I put it off on you unfairly without seeing that my healing needed to be deeper past us,” she wrote. “I mean you added to it but my fear of not being loved wasn’t broken by you I’d like to publicly say that.”
Cannon is the father to 12 children by six different women. In 2020, White confirmed that Cannon impregnated her but had suffered a miscarriage. They split shortly afterward when it was announced he was having a child with Brittany Bell – one of the six.
“She was aware that I had just had a miscarriage, two weeks prior to her news coming out, because he told me that he told her. And I was living at his house, she knew that as well. But I found out on Instagram along with the rest of the world,” White said at the time. “I was going through still my hormonal changes, and we were about to start in vitro. So when I came out, people thought I was this homewrecker. No, there was a real-life going on. I was bullied for months with that whole situation. I still tried to be nice about it. We didn’t break up right away, we tried to work things out.”
“I know the truth now about just how much healing I needed and God has taken my hurt I’m not ashamed by being beautiful and successful and not being loved with care throughout my life because there’s big big love coming to me that will fill up my memories with joy,” she wrote. “God will get the glory out of my broken past not shame nor sadness. The truth is NC and I were both beautifully broken when we were children and didn’t know how to love each other. Instead we hurt each other.”
Meanwhile, Cannon has come out to say that he was “still in love” with White.
“Because of the power of the media and who I am in the media, she felt like there was a narrative that they say about all the mothers of my children, all of this low-frequency negativity,” he added. “I take full accountability. I want her to share her true and honest story at any time.”