As society increasingly focuses on self-advocacy and mental health, Raquel Hopkins, a certified life coach, therapist, and capacity expert, offers a deeper lens on the popular idea of “setting boundaries.”
Through a powerful Instagram post and video (@raquel_the_capacity_), Hopkins redefines what it truly means to honor your emotional and mental capacity—and how learning to say no isn’t always about exhaustion, but about alignment.
“Capacity is what you build,” Hopkins says. “It’s the ability to hold more mentally, emotionally, and situationally without losing yourself in the process.”
Hopkins’ message comes at a time when more people are proudly reclaiming their time, energy, and emotional labor. From saying “no more” to setting firmer personal and professional boundaries, the public conversation around capacity-building is growing. But, as Hopkins points out, capacity isn’t just about what you stop doing—it’s about how and why you choose what’s yours to carry.
A Shift from Overextending to Intentional Living
In the video, Hopkins draws a crucial distinction between capacity and overextension:
- Overextending, she explains, is when you give what you don’t have—when you say yes out of guilt, fear, or the need to prove your worth.
- Capacity, by contrast, is about choosing what aligns with your purpose and values, even when it’s challenging.
“Overextending says, ‘This is exhausting, but I don’t know who I am without it,’” Hopkins notes. “Capacity says, ‘This is hard, but it’s aligned.’”
Rather than waiting for burnout to force change, Hopkins urges her followers to make decisions from a place of clarity, not crisis.
From Boundaries to Ownership
Hopkins explains that real empowerment comes not from reactive boundaries, but from proactive self-trust.
“Not the kind of no that’s fueled by burnout or resentment… But the kind that comes from deep clarity,” she writes.
Her message reframes the conversation around boundaries from one of self-protection to self-possession. Instead of saying no because you’ve been pushed too far, Hopkins encourages people to say no because they’ve learned to discern what’s theirs to carry.
This shift from reaction to intention marks a maturing of the personal development conversation, a move away from survival and toward sustainable emotional resilience.
Why This Matters
Hopkins’ approach resonates deeply in today’s workplace, relationships, and even in broader social dynamics. Whether you’re a professional managing burnout, a caregiver juggling responsibilities, or someone learning to advocate for themselves in therapy, her work serves as a guidepost for emotional growth.
“The question isn’t, ‘Am I doing too much?’” she says. “It’s, ‘Am I doing what’s mine to carry?’”
With overextension still widely glorified in hustle culture, Hopkins’ reminder that capacity is built—not borrowed—comes as a welcome message for those seeking balance, clarity, and authentic alignment.
