Entrepreneur and podcast host Donni Wiggins recently shared a deeply personal reflection on the Social Proof Podcast with David Shands, reminding listeners that admiration can shift when proximity reveals the full complexity of someone’s story.
Speaking on Episode 536, Wiggins recalled how meeting someone she once admired from afar left her feeling let down:
“I was a fan from a distance… and I was so disappointed with the person I realized she was backstage. I walked around harboring these negative emotions because I thought, ‘I would never want to be like this person.’”
But what began as disillusionment evolved into a powerful lesson about empathy.
From Disappointment to Understanding
Wiggins explained that she later learned of the traumatic experiences that shaped the woman’s behavior — abuse and betrayal from those who should have cared for her most.
“That year I realized you have to have a total story before you can make a decision about how you really feel about somebody. The truth is, we don’t have everybody’s total story,” she said.
For Wiggins, understanding the trauma behind the actions turned judgment into compassion:
“It’s not excusable, but empathy and grace can be applied. I now understand this person is the way they are because of a life I’ll never be able to relate to — something miserable and tragic actually did happen.”
The Balance Between Boundaries and Grace
Even with this understanding, Wiggins was clear that empathy doesn’t mean blind acceptance:
“I can’t be in your circle because I couldn’t stand for that type of treatment. But I no longer harbor negative emotions towards you.”
Her words highlighted an important balance — extending grace while still protecting one’s own boundaries.
A Broader Takeaway
The message resonated widely with listeners, serving as a reminder that behind public success often lies private pain, and that perspective can transform criticism into compassion.
As Wiggins put it, once you know the full story, “disappointment turns into grace.”
