Instagram personality Mel Mitchell (@itsmelmitch) is challenging societal expectations placed on women.
She is urging her followers to embrace authenticity over performing so-called “good girl” behavior.
In a recent post captioned “Be yourself and everything else will fall into place. Shoutout to the girls that had to do the unlearning 🩷 get with the winning team! ‘Good girl’ is a trap”, Mitchell shared a candid video discussing the grief and disillusionment that can come from trying to live up to restrictive standards.
“I was that good girl,” Mitchell said. “I was the purity ring, I’m a good girl, I’m a virgin, I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna do that. And as life started happening around me… I’m not being rewarded. I see the older good girls not being rewarded for their behavior. I realized I have nothing to look forward to.”
Mitchell argued that many women have been “lost to the promise of heaven and a husband,” calling out the role that church culture has played in promoting the idea that virtuous behavior guarantees romantic or moral rewards.
“You’re not just gonna win some good husband because you were a good girl. That’s just not how life works,” she said.
In her view, adhering to “good girl” rules often serves others more than the women themselves. Using humor to make her point, she referenced a fictional church musician named “James,” saying:
“James done humped everybody in the pulpit… but I have to save myself? For James?”
Mitchell revealed that her own turning point came at 19, when she decided to live on her own terms.
“I cheated the game by just being myself… and I ended up getting a ring out of it. Not that getting a ring is winning, but a lot of people see it that way,” she shared.
She pointed out that her journey involved “so much unlearning,” particularly dismantling the belief that women are punished for their sexual choices.
“The whole ‘good girl’ thing? There is no reward for this. These men don’t play by these rules—they get to do whatever they want,” she was candid.
Mitchell’s message has resonated with many followers who related to the pressure of meeting unrealistic expectations.
“Listen, there is a perfect middle ground. That grey area of healthy and responsible in the streets,” one person commented.
Another shared what understand Mitchell’s submissions to be:
“I don’t think she’s telling women to be a 304 . 🤣🤣 from my perspective it’s just saying stop trying to be perfect‼️‼️ nothing is perfect, not the man you want or trying to impress. It’s all so simple , LIVE not in sin but just LIVE. Won’t always get it right but it’s ok to just be you authentically 🤗”
The comment section of her post has sparked conversations about authenticity, self-worth, and the myths surrounding “good girl” culture.
