A viral TikTok has started a much-needed conversation about Black women and the recent “touch starvation” trend that is affecting many.
In the video, Mayte Lisbeth, 33, becomes emotional as she divulges that she hasn’t experienced genuine, authentic physical touch in years.
“It’s been five years of touch starvation,” she captioned the video. “I’ll probably have some more of it. I’m not handling it well.”
For three minutes, Lisbeth gets vulnerable about how she desperately craves love and affection – not just for her body – but for her mind as well.
“I feel like I’m dying … I feel like if I were to get the kind of hug that I f*cking really want, I would crumble into pieces,” she said.
Since posting the video, social media reactions began flooding by the thousands. Other Black women then began sharing similar experiences, attributing quarantine, technology and celibacy as some of the factors.
A Healthline report states that touch starvation occurs “when a person experiences little to no touch from other living things.” By nature, humans need daily skin-to-skin gentle touch, which helps release oxytocin, a necessary hormone needed for overall well-being and daily function.
A touch as short as three seconds – including a hug from a loved one or a handshake from a new encounter helps to reduce cortisol levels and improve the immune system, the report adds.
Some may opt to pay for physical touch through manicures and massages, but for Lisbeth, “none of those people love me.”
After one TikTok user watched Lisbeth’s emotional post, she took to Huffington Post to expound on the importance of the video’s message.
“When viewing Mayte’s TikTok through the lens of Black womanhood, it’s evident how severely isolation plays a part in Black women and femme-identifying people’s health,” journalist Sage Howard wrote. “Colorism, texturism, classism and proximity to whiteness all impact the love Black women do or don’t receive.”
It doesn’t help, she adds, that statistics have shown Black women marry less often and are considered less desirable compared to their counterparts. “Black women often tend to feel unsupported and undervalued as they must constantly prove their ability and worth in the workplace,” she added.
Howard continued: “With all of the love that Black women and femme-identifying people give the world, it’s upsetting to see us have public breakdowns about not being loved in return. A world that loves and values us is possible. It happens when we collectively decide to discard violent tropes that isolate Black women and queer people.”
Howard recommends that Black women actively seek to be touched “regularly, lovingly and intentionally” because it “is our right, too.”
“Do invest in creating spaces where we are safe — spaces that don’t require us to fight for our humanity to be seen as deserving of loving touch,” Howard concluded.
