Poet and motivational speaker Kira Brandon, known widely by her moniker Kira J (@allthingskiraj), is calling on Black men to take emotional accountability, not just for their own growth, but for the healing of Black women.
Her passionate appeal to Black men on the Express Yourself Black Man podcast has gone viral, sparking necessary and vulnerable conversations around generational trauma, love, and self-work within the Black community.
In her thought-provoking segment, Kira J didn’t hold back:
“The thing that Black men can do to help their women heal is heal themselves. Because so many Black women are suffering through the trauma of the things that someone else’s childhood went through.”
She pointed out that women should not have to bear the emotional consequences of men’s unhealed wounds:
“Women shouldn’t have to be casualties to the growth of men.”
Her words struck a chord with many viewers as she called attention to a recurring dynamic: Black women often become the emotional battleground for men still unpacking unresolved pain.
“Y’all look for love and comfort in the same arms that y’all have beaten down and emotionally bruised,” she said. “Then after all of that, y’all be like, why don’t our women love us?”
The Brooklyn-based creative, who has grown a strong following through her performance poetry and social commentary, urged men to embrace introspection:
“Go heal and then come back and see if the healed version of you don’t know how to love a Black woman properly.”
Her message is resonating across platforms—especially among women who say her words validate years of emotional labor and emotional injury.
Meanwhile, some men have praised the call-to-action, saying it challenges them to dig deeper into their mental health journeys without shifting blame.
The conversation aligns with a growing movement centred on healing-centred engagement and trauma-informed love within the Black community. Kira J’s presence on the podcast reminded listeners that healing is not a solo act—but it starts with individual accountability.
As she concluded in the episode, “The more healing work y’all do for yourselves, the less damage y’all can do to us—and the more we can help y’all with what y’all got going on too.”
Her plea is clear: Black men, do the work—not just for you, but for the women who love you.
