For many individuals, therapy has long been about delving deep into childhood wounds, dissecting every past experience to understand present struggles.
But therapist and coach Raquel Hopkins is shifting the conversation—challenging the growing trend of excessive introspection and urging individuals to focus on building a resilient future instead.
Hopkins, a licensed therapist known for her unfiltered insights on personal growth, recently took to social media to critique what she describes as the “obsession” with analyzing childhood trauma
She argues that while understanding one’s past can be valuable, it should not become an excuse for stagnation.
“Your job isn’t to fix the past—it’s to build the future,” Hopkins asserts.
The Risk of Over-Analyzing the Past
In a viral post, Hopkins explains that childhood, by nature, is inherently powerless.
“Whether you had a stellar childhood or a challenging one, the fact remains: as a child, you had little control over your environment. You couldn’t choose your circumstances or how you were treated,” she notes.
However, she warns that continuously reliving childhood experiences in therapy can keep individuals stuck in a victim mindset rather than equipping them with the tools needed to navigate adulthood successfully.
Hopkins takes particular issue with therapy culture’s increasing validation of victimhood over resilience-building.
“We don’t get to decide what someone experiences as traumatic because trauma isn’t just about what happened—it’s about how it was perceived,” she explains. “When therapy focuses too much on validating a victim narrative instead of helping people build a capacity for life, it can do more harm than good.”
The No-Contact Trend and Its Consequences
One of the more controversial points Hopkins raises is the growing trend of young adults cutting ties with family members. While she acknowledges that some cases warrant separation, she cautions against what she sees as a therapy culture that overemphasizes childhood grievances, sometimes encouraging premature and drastic actions.
“It’s concerning to see a growing trend among young adults who choose to go no-contact with family,” she writes. “This isn’t to diminish real issues but to call attention to how we might be encouraging drastic actions for those who are yet to fully understand or navigate adult complexities.”
Hopkins suggests that rather than spending years dissecting the past, individuals should focus on building practical skills to navigate the present.
“Stop analyzing. Start building. How are you preparing today for the life you want tomorrow?” she challenges her audience.
A Shift in Therapeutic Mindset
Her perspective aligns with a growing movement in the mental health space that champions skill-building, emotional regulation, and forward-focused coaching over endless self-exploration.
While traditional therapy has been instrumental in helping individuals process trauma, Hopkins and others in her field argue that an overemphasis on childhood wounds can sometimes hinder growth rather than facilitate it.
Her message is clear: understanding where you came from is important, but it should never become an excuse to avoid the responsibilities of adulthood
“Healing isn’t about proving that your childhood was hard,” she asserts. “It’s about deciding what you want your life to be now.”
