Ezinne Ebebe, a U.S.-based nurse, EMT, and digital creator, is urging fricans in the diaspora to have “uncomfortable discussions” with their aging parents about end-of-life care and final wishes.
In a now-viral Instagram post and video under the handle @zynnnie, Ebebe shared her firsthand experiences as an emergency room and critical care transport nurse.
She revealed that many older African immigrants in the U.S. and other Western countries spend their final days in hospitals far from home — and are often buried abroad because it becomes the “most reasonable and cheaper option” for their children.
“I’ve seen a lot of Nigerian parents, a lot of African parents come to the emergency department all the time. They are in the tail end of their life … but people keep hanging on to false hope,” Ebebe said in her video. “We need to ask them, Mommy, Daddy, what do you want us to do in the event you have a stroke, a heart attack, or are in a condition where you have no quality of life?”
Ebebe’s message drums home the importance of advance care planning: discussing whether parents want their lives “artificially prolonged” by machines when unconscious, whether they prefer hospice or palliative care, and how they wish to be interned or buried.
She also touched on the cultural and financial complexities of diaspora living, noting that the effects of poor governance in many African countries have left families unprepared for the realities of aging abroad.
“Learn and know when to send your parents home so they can peacefully retire in their father’s land,” she urged.
Her video has resonated with thousands of viewers, many of whom commented on the difficulty — yet necessity — of confronting these sensitive issues with parents and elders.
“Your advice makes a lot of sense 👏👏👏👏👏,” one person commented.
Another said, “This is a very valid conversation. For those who choose to stay abroad, please sign up for final expense to take care of financial obligations.”
However, a few others presented alternative views to Ebebe’s.
“Home na burial ground?😂 If you live and give your best years to another country, why not get laid there?” one person quipped.
Ebebe concluded her post with a personal reflection about her late father, pointing out how deeply personal this subject is for her.
“I think it would be so sad if I had buried my father abroad. We need to have a serious conversation with our parents,” she said.
