In a powerful and widely shared Instagram post, licensed clinical psychologist and professor Dr. Raquel Martin addressed the loaded label “aggressive” and the harm it inflicts on Black women, calling it a tired, reductive stereotype used to silence confidence, clarity, and truth.
Dr. Martin, a scientist and podcast host whose work centers Black mental health and well-being, shared both a caption and an emotional video on April 27 in which she deconstructs how accusations of being “aggressive” are weaponized—particularly against Black women who speak up, set boundaries, or refuse to make themselves small to comfort others.
“Aggressive is the most tired, pedantic, and stereotypical insult that has been hurled at me my entire life,” Martin wrote in her post. “There are so many ridiculous ways this world expects Black women to acquiesce to the needs of others… That will never be me.”
In her video, Dr. Martin delivers a sharp critique of how the “aggressive” label often masks discomfort with Black women’s confidence, especially when they refuse to perform self-doubt or smile through disrespect.
She explained that the accusation often comes not only from non-Black communities but also within the Black community itself—making it even more painful.
“Black men, some of y’all call me aggressive when I don’t soften your disrespect… That’s not aggression—that’s clarity, that’s truth, that’s a boundary,” she said.
“Black women, when you call me aggressive, is it because I’m wrong—or because I make you uncomfortable in all the ways you’ve learned to shrink?”
Dr. Martin challenges viewers—especially Black men and women—to examine the origins of their discomfort with assertive, grounded Black women and to consider how generational trauma and societal expectations play into the urge to silence or diminish them.
She closed with a bold affirmation for women like her:
“You’re not aggressive. You’re grounded. You’re direct. You’re not too much—you’re exactly enough. You don’t have to shrink to survive. They can choke.”
The post sparked a wave of support online, with many praising Dr. Martin for articulating what countless Black women have felt but feared expressing.
“Yes! My beautiful kindred spirit yes. You glow and continue to choke the weeds of insecurity seeking to make you small. I love this.
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