Therapist Raquel Hopkins has challenged what she described as modern society’s obsession with “healing” and returning to an untouched version of oneself.
In a candid Instagram video titled “Therapist[s] are not supposed to help people heal,” Hopkins argued that therapy should focus less on restoring people to who they were before trauma and more on helping them develop the emotional capacity to navigate life as it is.
“Human beings are not wounds waiting to close,” Hopkins said in the now-viral clip. “You’re a person being shaped by life in real time.”
The therapist’s comments have attracted varied comments, with viewers debating the evolving mental health language, emotional resilience, trauma recovery, and the growing cultural emphasis on becoming “fully healed.”
Hopkins said she believes it is “one of the most arrogant things” normalized within mental health spaces to suggest therapists can fully heal people from grief, betrayal, divorce, failure, or life-altering experiences.
“Even me as a therapist, I’m not in the business of helping people heal,” she said. “I can help you endure, persevere, be transformed, renew your mind, develop your character, learn to suffer well, remain faithful through uncertainty.”
She argued that many people become trapped chasing an emotionally resolved version of themselves that no longer exists.
“People stop asking, ‘How do I keep growing?’ and start obsessing over, ‘How do I finally heal?’” Hopkins explained. “Life does not stop and wait for you to become untouched again.”
Throughout the video, Hopkins stated that painful experiences do not simply disappear with enough therapy sessions, boundaries, or self-work. Instead, she said, those experiences become integrated into a person’s identity and emotional framework over time.
“Not all experiences leave, not all of them stop hurting, not all of them make sense,” she said. “Some of the most developed people I know are not healed. They have simply developed the capacity to carry life differently.”
Her comments arrive amid increasing public conversations around therapy culture, trauma language, self-care, emotional burnout, and mental health trends circulating heavily online. In recent years, terms like “healing journey,” “trauma response,” and “doing the work” have become deeply embedded in social media discourse.
Supporters praised Hopkins for offering what many described as a more realistic and compassionate understanding of emotional growth, particularly for people dealing with chronic grief, long-term trauma, or irreversible life changes.
Others said the therapist’s message challenged the pressure many people feel to eventually become completely unaffected by painful experiences.
Mental health professionals have increasingly debated whether some online therapy narratives unintentionally encourage people to view emotional discomfort as something that must be permanently eliminated rather than managed and integrated.
Hopkins concluded by saying therapists should focus on helping people adapt to reality, build emotional strength, increase self-awareness, and expand their ability to face life without constantly needing to escape difficult emotions.
“I think we should help people integrate their experiences, adapt to reality, build emotional strength,” she said, “not help people spend years trying to return to a version of themselves that no longer exists.”
The video has since sparked thousands of reactions from viewers who said her words reframed the way they think about recovery, resilience, and personal growth.
