Christelle Pellecuer, a 46-year-old consultant, coach, and podcaster based in England, recently shared a deeply personal story about how being adopted has shaped her career and self-worth.
Born in Madagascar, Christelle was adopted at the age of 10 by a white, middle-class family in France, a transition that left her grappling with feelings of not belonging.
She had lost her mother at the age of 7, leaving her in the care of a Catholic missionary before being placed in an orphanage.
When she finally joined her adoptive family in 1988, she faced a new country, a new culture, and the painful aftermath of her loss, compounded by the language barrier.
Despite these challenges, Christelle eventually adapted, completing her A-levels and later moving to England, where she would go on to earn her bachelor’s and master’s degrees.
But even as her academic and career trajectory unfolded, she struggled with feelings of displacement. Christelle told Business Insider:
“I’ve never felt I belonged anywhere or with anyone. To protect myself, I learned to move on quickly, and this pattern seeped into my work.”
Christelle’s experience is not uncommon among those who were adopted, particularly when placed in families with different cultural backgrounds.
For her, the desire to belong – something that was never fully realized in her adoptive family – influenced her career choices. She worked in various industries, from makeup artistry and university administration to fashion editorial and coaching, but she rarely felt anchored.
“If I had planted myself, I think I would have eventually found that belonging, but I never gave it enough time,” she admitted.
Christelle also reflected on her struggle to advocate for herself in the workplace, something she attributes to the lack of affirmation during her childhood.
She shared how, despite being qualified, she often avoided applying for promotions or taking opportunities to advance her career, citing a lack of self-belief.
“Self-worth is fostered as a child when people affirm us,” she said. “I never felt validated. No one — not the missionary, the orphanage staff, or my adoptive parents — felt like they were in my corner.”
Perfectionism became another challenge for Christelle, leading to burnout on multiple occasions.
She recounted how, during her time working at a university, she overextended herself, working up to 15 hours a day without proper rest or self-care. Despite her tireless efforts, recognition was minimal, deepening her feelings of inadequacy.
“The more recognition I didn’t get, the harder I tried,” she explained. “My doctor signed me off for fatigue.”
It wasn’t until her late 30s, after a second burnout, that Christelle began to confront the negative work habits and patterns that had been ingrained in her from childhood.
“I had to confront my negative self-worth and how it played into my work and personal life,” she said. This self-reflection eventually led her to pursue freelancing, which gave her the flexibility to establish healthier work-life boundaries.
Now, as a coach and podcaster, Christelle is actively working on unlearning the habits that no longer serve her.
“It’s a constant process,” she says, reflecting on how she has learned to prioritize her well-being, set boundaries, and shift her beliefs about self-worth. “I no longer connect my worth to other people’s opinions.”
Christelle’s story is a powerful reminder of how early experiences can shape our professional lives.
