A viral video of Iyanla Vanzant eviscerating Eboni K. Williams after she stated she would never date a bus driver is now the impetus of another argument between the Real Housewives of New York star and morning show host DJ Envy.
In a recent airing of The Breakfast Club, the radio personality slammed her for what he thought was her being hypocritical. He then referred to her books in which she advocates “pro-Black” rhetoric and conveyed that while they both work to support the Black community, he “doesn’t put people down” in the process.
“How do you talk about how much you’re uplifting and going for Black people when that’s not even what you’re looking for?” Envy questioned.
“I would love to know DJ Envy how you know what I’m looking for,” Williams responded.
Envy then went on to state that his parents were “exceptional” even though some may have thought that they worked “mediocre” jobs. With their support, they were able to put him through college, so he would never look down at anyone who works “average” jobs, adding that he felt Williams was “sh*tting” on people who work blue collar jobs and that her remarks were “dead a*s wrong.”
“I am actually speaking and pouring into the ascension of Black men when I said what I said,” Williams retorted. “See some of ya’ll were too busy naming and shaming me personally and Black women in general as undesirable, gold diggers, and much worse.”
She continued: “Now I suspect that some of ya’ll are the same men that were bringing home C’s and D’s on your report card, only then to be coddled by parents that said, ‘Well that’s ok as long as you’re doing your best.’ Well listen, I love and believe in the excellence of the Black man. So no my dears, C’s and D’s or any other form of mediocracy is not OK. So I’ma say it one more time, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with driving a bus — my mother Gloria drove one for years — but could it be that Black men in America have been sold a narrative of average, regular, and typical ‘being good enough’ for us.”
In the webinar that sparked the debate between the two, Vanzant asked Williams if she would ever date a bus driver.
“If he owns the bus…if he owns it,” Williams quipped. “If he owns the bus, Iyanla.”
The motivational guru then responded, “That’s the problem. The standards and criteria that we use to measure men is off for who we are as women and who they are in this society.”
She continued: “I would date a bus driver if he loved driving the bus, if he was a man of integrity, if he was good to his mama, if he treated me well, I would date a bus driver. But we think that it’s another human being’s responsibility to give us what we need instead of us building together. I’d have a little stash over on the side and my pre-nup, but I can build with a bus driver. So I think some of the criteria that we look for in the reality of today keeps us unhappy, keeps us angry, keeps us imbalanced, and then when the men show up we want to beat them up because they’re not living up to our standard and criteria and it’s not working, beloved. It’s just not working. It’s not that it’s bad or wrong, it’s obsolete. We have to come up with a new way of being.”
When the conversation was posted on Instagram, thousands of commenters weighed in.
“I’m sorry, but I need women to start keeping the same energy that men give us …men would not date a particular woman, so why do we have to settle and date a particular man,” one commenter wrote.
“Stop asking black women to settle for struggle love. We are the ONLY race of women expected to be the primary household providers. Other races of women are NEVER asked to do so and would be offended. Black women deserve provider husband too,” another wrote.
Recent figures reveal that Black women are more likely to obtain degrees than Black men and more Black women were enrolled at 23 of 26 of the nation’s top universities.
“[The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education] has consistently documented the fact that black women hold a large lead over black men in almost every facet of higher education. Black women currently earn about two-thirds of all African-American bachelor’s degree awards, 70 percent of all master’s degrees, and more than 60 percent of all doctorates. Black women also hold a majority of all African-American enrollments in law, medical, and dental schools,” the report concluded.
