A viral video has sparked a heated conversation online after an HIV-positive woman openly explained why she does not believe she is obligated to disclose her status to people she has kissed or been romantically involved with.
In the clip circulating across social media, the woman delivers what she calls a public service announcement, speaking calmly but firmly as she challenges long-held expectations around disclosure. She makes it clear that, for her, disclosure is a personal choice, not a blanket obligation owed to strangers or casual partners.
“I’m HIV positive,” she says, before addressing critics head-on. She pushes back against the idea that she should reveal her status before a date, before a kiss, or even before learning someone’s name. To her, those demands feel unreasonable and invasive. Her argument centers on autonomy and shared responsibility, particularly when it comes to sexual health.
She questions why the burden of protection is often placed entirely on people living with HIV. Why, she asks, are individuals willing to kiss or pursue unprotected sex with someone they barely know, without asking questions, having conversations, or suggesting testing together? In her view, assuming responsibility for one’s own health should be the starting point, not something outsourced to another person’s disclosure.
“Your health is your responsibility,” she says bluntly. She urges people to stop assuming that others are “clean” by default and to move with caution, intention, and communication instead.
“Assume that everyone has something until they prove to you that they do not. Why are you kissing a stranger or trying to kiss a stranger that you just met? Why are you trying to have raw intercourse with someone that you just met? You don’t know me. Why are you trying to put your thing inside of me without any kind of protection?… Why do I have to be the one protecting you from yourself? No, baby, that is not my responsibility.”
The video quickly divided the internet.
Some viewers praised her honesty, saying her perspective exposes how stigma around HIV still shapes unrealistic and unfair expectations. Others were deeply uncomfortable, arguing that disclosure is a matter of ethics, consent, and trust, particularly when intimacy is involved.
Adding context to the discussion, Aidsmap notes that disclosure is often one of the most difficult decisions for people living with HIV. The decision to tell someone can carry emotional risks, including rejection, discrimination, or even danger. Outside of very limited legal circumstances, disclosure is generally considered a personal decision, not a universal requirement. Each situation requires careful consideration of safety, trust, and timing.
