A viral video by content creator Tareasa M. Johnson is shining a light on a group of women she says are often missing from modern discussions about motherhood: those who are childless not by choice, but by circumstance.
In the widely shared clip, Johnson offers a poignant message to women whose lives did not unfold as planned:
“Shout out to those women who are childless, but by circumstance, not necessarily by choice… you still matter.”
A Different Perspective in the Motherhood Debate
Johnson’s message comes amid ongoing social media discourse celebrating child-free lifestyles, where women without children are often portrayed as living with greater freedom and flexibility.
But Johnson says that narrative overlooks a quieter, more complex reality.
She describes women who envisioned motherhood—family vacations, school events, and raising children—but faced barriers such as infertility, relationship breakdowns, or life circumstances that altered their paths.
“If you ask them, they would tell you this isn’t the life they thought they were going to be living,” she said.
Between Two Narratives
Rather than criticizing women who choose not to have children, Johnson emphasized that both experiences deserve recognition. Her focus, she explained, is on those who find themselves “in the middle”—neither fully aligned with the child-free-by-choice movement nor able to experience motherhood as planned.
She noted that many of these women continue to support and celebrate others—attending baby showers, babysitting, and showing up for loved ones—while quietly navigating their own sense of loss:
“They wanted to experience pregnancy… they wanted all of that. But life happened.”
Resonating Across Social Media
The video has resonated with thousands online, with many users sharing personal stories of infertility struggles, delayed family plans, or unexpected life changes.
Commenters have described Johnson’s message as validating, particularly for women who say their experiences are rarely acknowledged in mainstream conversations about family and identity.
The hashtag #childlessnotbychoice, referenced in Johnson’s post, has also seen renewed engagement, reflecting a broader effort to create space for nuanced discussions about womanhood and fulfillment.
“I was childless by circumstance for 45 years. Circumstances changed and I was blessed with my greatest joy last year. Anything is possible. Love to all in this circumstance,” one commenter wrote on Instagram
A Broader Social Conversation
Experts in family studies and sociology have long noted the emotional complexity surrounding involuntary childlessness. While public narratives often frame the issue in binary terms—having children or choosing not to—Johnson’s message underscores the spectrum of lived experiences in between.
Her closing remarks captured the emotional core of the discussion:
“You probably would have traded where you currently are for diapers and bibs… because that was what you actually wanted. And that’s OK.”
As conversations about motherhood continue to evolve, Johnson’s viral moment is prompting a deeper reflection on empathy, identity, and the many ways life can diverge from expectation.
