Reality star and entrepreneur Amy Luciani got candid recently about one of the hardest lessons she’s learned in marriage: knowing when to be quiet.
In a personal Instagram video, Luciani revealed that she and her husband, former NBA star Dwight Howard, both filed for divorce just six months after tying the knot. Looking back, she says the near-split taught her the power of silence and self-reflection.
“I met the love of my life and I almost divorced his ass in six months being real stupid and silly,” Luciani confessed. “Actually, we both filed for divorce. Let’s talk about the struggles of being a new, young wife.”
Her advice for women, especially newlyweds, is blunt and unfiltered: “Shut your mouth. Shut up! Everything don’t need a response.”
A Lesson in Humility and Growth
Luciani, known for her unapologetic social media presence, explained that early marriage tested her patience and self-awareness in ways she hadn’t anticipated. She admitted that her fiery personality often became a barrier to peace at home.
“Your spicy attitude isn’t passion. It’s a nasty attitude that has to die for your husband,” she said in the video. “Successful, top-tier men just want peace. They don’t want anything else you can give them besides peace.”
Her tone was not one of submission, but of maturity, recognizing that maintaining harmony in marriage sometimes means learning restraint.
“You have to literally die to your old self,” she continued. “That means making adjustments. Heavy on ‘you’re one now.’”
From Oversharing to Inner Reflection
Luciani also warned against turning relationship struggles into public conversations, something she admits she once did.
“Mistake I made? Me and my husband going through issues and I’m telling my friends about it. Don’t do it,” she said.
Instead, she advocates for what she calls the ‘maybe I’ rule.
“If there’s conflict going on in your marriage, silently ask yourself: Maybe I am understanding this wrong. Maybe I’m being overly emotional. Maybe I’m not listening,” she advised. “Process your emotions before you respond.”
The Hard Truth About “Peace”
In her caption, Luciani added a disclaimer:
“Don’t cancel me for saying it 😬 sis… Close your mouth!! It may be you that’s part of the problem. And if you’re always talking, how will you hear?”
Her message comes from experience. What began as a reflection on communication evolved into a bigger advice to young women and wives about ego, trauma, and how cultural expectations can shape relationships. Luciani pointed out that some men are triggered by confrontational energy that reminds them of unresolved family conflict, making emotional regulation crucial in maintaining peace.
While critics might slam her words as traditional or even regressive, many others view her honesty as refreshing.
“You truly understand marriage. I asked a couple married 45 years their secret. She said, Three things — choose your battles wisely, forgive even when it’s hard, and never walk out on each other.… ❤️” one person commented.
She concluded:
“You ain’t ready for marriage if you think every disagreement means you should run.”
For Amy Luciani, the near-loss of her marriage became the lesson of a lifetime: sometimes love survives when pride takes a seat.
