The mother to Stephen “tWitch” Boss, the Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ, executive producer and dancer who committed suicide last December is opening up for the first time since her son’s untimely passing.
“Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, and then other times it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen him,” Connie Boss Alexander told People magazine in a recent interview.
The 59-year-old mother of three, who is a city supervisor in Phoenix, said that she still struggles with his suicide but finds comfort in the memories they shared and is hopeful they will meet again.
“When I think about him, I try not to dwell on how he left this earth,” she said. “This is not totally the end. That is where my peace comes from.”
Boss, who was 40 at the time of his death, grew up in Montgomery, Alabama and “was always smiling, always willing to try new things,” Boss Alexander recollected. “If I had on music, he was dancing. He was the only male on his dance team in high school.”
She continued: “That’s how dedicated and serious he was about it,” she adds. “He didn’t care that kids might be whispering.”
She further said that she was 18 when she gave birth to Boss and they were very close. When he became a father himself, their bond grew even stronger.
“As an adult, I think he really was able to see and appreciate some of the challenges I had as a young parent,” she said. “And we talked about those things. I’m the classic boy mom, very protective. If we weren’t talking every day, we were texting. He was my heart.”
Following his death, Boss Alexander said she has had to grapple with how he died.
“You find yourself in a lot of introspection, a lot of looking back. Did I miss something? Did he mean something when he said this? It was just very, very shocking,” she said. “I don’t know when or if I’ll ever accept it. At this point, I’m in realization, I guess. When I wake up in the morning, it does hit me that, oh my God, he really is not physically here. But then in my head I can hear him say, ‘Hey, Mom. I’m okay.'”
She says now that he’s gone, she hopes the world remembers him as a loving man who spread joy to everyone he encountered.
“Some days are better than others,” she concluded. “It’s funny when you look at your child as an adult. With certain mannerisms, I see the little baby and then a toddler, and I’m chasing him down the hallway, him looking back at me and laughing. And in high school, I see him crossing the stage and turning back and waving. I see it all now.”
