Iyanla Vanzant is explaining why she did not attend her daughter’s funeral. A decision that many people found difficult to understand, but one she says was rooted in love, boundaries, and survival.
During a recent appearance on The Breakfast Club, the bestselling author and spiritual teacher opened up about why she chose not to attend the funeral of her youngest daughter, Nisa Vanzant, who passed away in July 2023. The choice, she revealed, had everything to do with protecting her grandson’s emotional state and her own safety amid intense family conflict.
According to Iyanla Vanzant, one of her grandsons was overwhelmed by grief and anger following Nisa’s death. She described him as being “out of his mind,” not out of malice, but out of deep pain. Still, she knew the situation was volatile. More importantly, she knew she was a trigger for him.
She explained that attending the funeral could have put her in jeopardy and potentially created a scene that would dishonor her daughter’s memory. Iyanla Vanzant said she refused to allow anyone to disrespect Nisa by disrespecting her mother in a moment meant for mourning.
Rather than force herself into a situation she felt could escalate, Iyanls made a quiet, deeply personal decision. She went to see her daughter the day before the funeral and said her own goodbye in private. For her, that was enough.
“She was still going to be dead the next day,” Vanzant said plainly.
Once the decision was made, she said, she felt at peace with it. That peace mattered more than optics.
Nisa Vanzant’s passing was announced by Iyanla on social media on June 30, 2023. In a brief but emotional post, she asked for prayers and privacy as her family navigated the loss. No details surrounding Nisa’s death were shared at the time, and Vanzant has continued to keep that aspect of her daughter’s passing private.
This is not the first time Iyanla Vanzant has endured the loss of a child. In 2003, her eldest daughter, Gemmia, died from colon cancer, a tragedy Iyanla has spoken about openly over the years as part of her healing journey.
