In a heartfelt conversation on The School of Greatness podcast, actress Kerry Washington opened up about how learning she was conceived with the help of a sperm donor in her 40s deeply affected her—and ultimately transformed her father.
The revelation, shared in her memoir Thicker Than Water, came after Washington participated in the PBS series Finding Your Roots.
Her parents were initially hesitant to submit DNA samples, and eventually confessed that her biological father was a sperm donor—something they had kept secret for decades.
But while the truth shook Washington, she was most moved by how it impacted the man who had raised her.
“I think for my dad, not telling me was really because he really was in denial,” Washington explained. “He believed that I was his.”
Initially, her father refused to participate in any genetic testing, fearing the implications:
“He literally said to me, ‘If you do this, it will f*** me.’ He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want anybody else to know.”
What followed, however, was an emotional and public reckoning—and an unexpected healing.
As Washington went on a nationwide tour for her memoir, her father began attending events. The man who once feared losing his identity as a father stood in auditoriums filled with cheering crowds, celebrated not for genetics, but for his unwavering presence in his daughter’s life.
“To see him go from being somebody who thought he would lose all respect and credibility and masculinity and identity, to being so celebrated and held up… It’s a really important lesson,” Washington shared.
“The thing that we think will destroy us could be our greatest gift.”
The Scandal star’s deeply personal story offers a powerful commentary on how identity, truth, and love can evolve. Her father’s journey from fear and denial to pride and public affirmation, she said, is a testament to the strength of relationships that go beyond biology.
Thicker Than Water continues to resonate with readers for its candor, vulnerability, and hope—a reflection of a daughter’s love and a father’s transformation.
