Aziza Kibibi, 40, and her daughter Arrishtk Ayinde, 23, share more than just a familial bond—they share survival! Their story, one of unimaginable abuse and resilience, began in the shadows of a seemingly successful life.
Their abuser, Aswad Ayinde, was a music video director known for his work with the Fugees, including their iconic “Killing Me Softly” video.
Behind closed doors, however, he subjected his family to years of torture, manipulation, and sexual violence.
A Childhood Stolen
Aziza’s early memories of Paterson, New Jersey, were idyllic—until her father began sexually abusing her at age eight. Aziza’s mother knew all about the sexual abuses and, at one point, told the little girl she was now her competition.
By 10, he was raping her regularly, beating her with belts, wooden planks, and even Sheetrock.
He isolated the family, forbidding them from attending school or speaking to neighbors. Aziza secretly taught her siblings, clinging to education as an escape.
At 15, Aziza became pregnant by her father. She gave birth to Arrishtk in a dilapidated home, delivering her on a mattress with no medical help.
Despite the horrors, Aziza found solace in her newborn.
“I remember looking into her eyes and just falling in love,” she recalled during a 2018 Q&A with Glamour.
A System That Failed Them
For years, authorities overlooked the abuse. Neighbors and social services were deceived by Aswad’s charm. It wasn’t until 2000, when Aziza’s infant son suffered seizures due to rickets (caused by severe neglect), that child protective services intervened.
Aziza’s children were taken—but she fought tirelessly to regain custody, educating herself on family law.
Arrishtk, placed in foster care at six, struggled deeply.
“The caseworker told me Arrishtk was banging her head against the wall and sitting in the corner rocking back and forth, not talking or eating. I couldn’t stop crying, but I started reading books on family law, taking parenting classes—doing everything I could to get her back. After a year and a half, we worked it out so a relative would be the foster parent.” Aziza recounts.
The separation was agonizing, but Aziza never gave up.
Breaking Free and Seeking Justice
In her 20s, Aziza finally confronted her father after he targeted another sister.
“I called him an asshole,” she said. To her shock, he backed down—revealing his cowardice. She cut ties and rebuilt her life, working multiple jobs while raising her children.
Years later, fearing Aswad would victimize others, Aziza and her siblings reported him. After grueling trials—where Aziza faced brutal cross-examinations—he was convicted in 2013 and sentenced to 90 years for aggravated sexual assault, incest, and child endangerment.
Healing Through Love and Laughter
Today, Aziza and Arrishtk share an unbreakable bond.
They laugh constantly, finish each other’s sentences, and support each other’s dreams. Aziza is finishing dual degrees while running Precious Little Ladies, a nonprofit aiding incest survivors. Arrishtk, an aspiring singer, keeps her mother grounded.
“Knowing all the horror she’s gone through—it has just made my love for her stronger,” Arrishtk said.
Aziza’s message is clear: “Forgiveness freed me. What happens to me now is based on my choices.”
Her book, Unashamed: a life tainted, vol 1 and 2, explores the journey of a woman who refuses to be broken, liberates herself from physical and mental bondage, and forges her own life.
