A viral video from influencer and career commentator TR (@iamteerose) is creating a buzz online about what it takes for women of color to be heard in corporate spaces and the uncomfortable realities that come with it.
In a short but striking clip posted to Instagram, TR advises women of color to “learn how to cry at work,” arguing that emotional visibility can sometimes succeed where professionalism and strength have failed.
“One of the best things you can do as a woman of color working in corporate is learn how to cry at work,” she said. “No one’s taking you seriously because you are not crying.”
Her advice has received mixed reactions online. To some, it was darkly funny and brutally honest; to others, it highlighted just how skewed corporate empathy remains along racial and gender lines.
‘Once those tears came out, that’s when stuff started to shake’
In the video, TR recounts a one-on-one meeting where a woman of color confided her frustrations about being overlooked and undervalued at work.
“She said no one at work seems to know I’m frustrated,” TR explained. “I said no one’s taking you seriously because you are not crying.”
She went on to describe her own experiences:
“At my previous job, HR was not hearing me until I cried, yeah? Once those tears came out, that’s when stuff started to shake.”
TR’s commentary wasn’t just about tears, it was about strategy. She described crying as a “protective statistic,” a way to document mistreatment while making emotional harm visible.
“When you cry, make sure there’s witnesses,” she advised. “Go to the toilet, come back with your makeup messed up. People will leave you alone.”
Her tone represents a reality many Black and brown professionals quietly acknowledge: strength, when displayed by women of color, is often mistaken for hostility.
The Fine Line Between Authenticity and Survival
TR’s message taps into a longstanding cultural tension — the double standard surrounding emotion in the workplace.
White women’s tears, as sociologists have noted, are often met with sympathy, while Black women’s pain is too often dismissed as aggression. Research from Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business found that Black women are rated as more “angry” than white women when expressing the same emotions, even in identical scenarios.
‘We’re taught to be strong. No, learn to cry.’
At one point, TR pushes back against the cultural conditioning that tells women of color to stay stoic in the face of discrimination.
“More often than not, we’re taught to be strong and brave and confident,” she said. “No, learn to cry. People assume we’ll hold it down — that’s why no one takes us seriously.”
She called the act of crying “a form of proof,” especially in workplaces that claim to value empathy but often reserve compassion for some more than others.
The clip has since drawn hundreds of thousands of views and sparked vigorous debate in comment sections. Many Black women described recognizing themselves in her words.
“This is survival, not manipulation,” one commenter wrote. “We’ve been conditioned to protect everyone else’s comfort — crying is sometimes the only way to protect our own.”
Others, however, worried the advice reinforced stereotypes or could backfire in unsympathetic environments.
“I get her point,” another user said, “but the idea of having to cry to be treated fairly just hurts.”
A Mirror, Not a Manual
Whether meant as literal advice or biting social critique, TR’s post has forced an uncomfortable question to the surface: Whose emotions are allowed to matter at work?
Her video exposes the quiet negotiations women of color make daily — between visibility and vulnerability, assertion and perception. It isn’t really about crying; it’s about what crying represents: the cost of being seen as fully human in spaces that often deny that humanity.
As TR put it at the end of her clip, “I used to be so strong and so brave, but no. Learn to cry. Cry on cue. Show your emotions. Make sure people have seen you upset, so you have a case.”
Her tone may have been tongue-in-cheek, but her message — that authenticity is often weaponized against women of color — landed with unmistakable weight.
