Christian counselor Tara Boddie is calling out men who she says are missing out on love, not because the right woman isn’t out there, but because they’re not spiritually or emotionally ready to receive her.
“Sir, so are you,” Boddie says pointedly, addressing men who mock single women online while failing to acknowledge their own emotional immaturity and lack of growth.
Posted to her TikTok account @TaraBoddie973, Boddie’s message comes with a spiritual wake-up call: many men will end up alone not by fate, but by choice — the choice to ignore God’s call to grow.
“You keep shooting your shot at women that don’t even want you because you ain’t got everything you supposed to have together,” she says in the video. “You don’t even have the emotional intelligence to deal with them… and when she denies you, now you mad at all the other women.”
A Message Rooted in Accountability
Boddie, who is known for her faith-based relationship guidance, says that some men have been projecting their rejection and bitterness onto women, instead of looking inward.
“You talk about women being single forever, but some of y’all are heading there too — alone and prideful,” she wrote in her caption. “You haven’t done the heart work.”
She challenges men to move beyond ego and pride, reminding them that godly leadership in relationships requires integrity, self-reflection, and spiritual maturity, not just charm or ambition.
TikTok Reacts: Women Applaud, Some Men Push Back
The TikTok post has garnered hundreds of thousands of views and ignited passionate debate. Many Black women in the comments praised Boddie for putting words to what they’ve long felt, that emotional maturity and vulnerability are often undervalued in discussions about masculinity and marriage.
“She said it with her whole chest — and she’s not wrong,” one commenter wrote.
“Some of y’all really think being a man is enough. It’s not. Be a godly man,” another added.
Some men, however, pushed back, claiming the video unfairly generalizes male behavior. But others took it as a hard truth worth reflecting on.
“I needed to hear this,” one man admitted. “It hurt a little… but it’s real.”
Faith, Healing, and the Future of Love
In a digital landscape flooded with hot takes and viral relationship coaches, Boddie’s message stands out for its spiritual depth and emphasis on healing and not just finger-pointing.
Her core point: Real love requires real preparation. And without doing the “heart work,” even God’s best match for you could go unnoticed.
“The woman that God has for you?” Boddie warns. “You’re overlooking her.”
Tara Boddie’s message reminds us that faith, maturity, and humility are foundational for lasting relationships, especially in a world that often rewards bravado over authenticity.
