When Kisha Gates met Thomas “John” Gaither, he told her she would one day be his wife. She laughed it off, thinking he was crazy. He was really crazy, but she married him anyway.
Three years later, the woman her friends called a “real-life fashion icon” was dead, killed by the same man she once vowed to love through anything.
The tragedy has left Central Texas reeling, not just because of how she died, but because of what her death represents: how love, even when it’s deep, loyal, and unconditional, can’t always save someone from the darkness in another.
Kisha, 44, was a two-time cancer survivor, mother, and beloved local fashionista. She believed in loyalty to the end, even when her husband’s mental health spiraled into paranoia.
“She didn’t play about her husband,” her family said. “She defended him when everyone else turned away.”
In one of her last social media posts, Kisha wrote words that now feel unbearably heavy:
“Don’t cancel me for saying it 😬 sis… Close your mouth!! It may be you that’s part of the problem, and if you’re always talking, how will you hear?”
She preached peace, patience, and grace in marriage, even when it meant swallowing pain. But behind her public optimism was a private war.
‘It got worse,’ her daughter said
Her daughter, Rosalynda “Rosie” Gates, recounted through tears during a televised domestic violence roundtable hosted by KCENTV how her mother’s once-loving home became a minefield of fear.
“John suffered from schizophrenia and had stopped taking his medication,” Rosie said. “He started saying there were cameras in the house, that she was cheating and trying to kill him. He put tripwires on the stairs and bought guns because he thought people were coming after him.”
The day of the shooting, Kisha reportedly refused to give him money. The argument turned deadly.
“My cousin went to check on her and found them there,” Rosie said. “It was raining so hard when I got there. It rained so hard.”
Kisha’s death has been ruled a murder-suicide, one of several domestic violence tragedies that have rocked Central Texas this year.
Sometimes love is not enough
At the KCENTV roundtable, domestic violence survivors like Tony Ringgold-Steele and Sharvell Davis joined Rosie in urging women to recognize the warning signs of abuse, emotional, verbal, and psychological, before it escalates to tragedy.
“You cannot fix a person,” Ringgold-Steele said. “You have to choose yourself like your life depends on it — because it does.”
For Davis, who was shot by her ex-partner just days after he signed a plea deal for strangling her, the lesson is the same. “I was protecting a man who shouldn’t have been protected,” she said. “Sometimes love is not enough.”
A community in mourning
The outpouring of grief for Kisha has been immense. Her niece, Amari Sheridan, called her “a real-life Barbie, stylish, strong, and unforgettable.”
💔 “She could light up any room and make everyone feel loved just by being herself,” Sheridan wrote in a Facebook tribute. “Our family is heartbroken, but we’re coming together to give her the farewell she deserves.”
A GoFundMe campaign has been launched to help cover funeral costs and support her children.
The broader crisis
Kisha’s story underscores the ongoing domestic violence epidemic in America — particularly cases involving untreated mental illness. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly one in three women in the U.S. experience physical violence by an intimate partner.
Advocates say access to mental health care and early intervention are key — but so is breaking the stigma that keeps families silent until it’s too late.
“Love can’t replace professional help,” one advocate said. “When someone is unwell and refuses treatment, their illness can consume everyone around them.”
A final message
For Rosie Gates, her mother’s legacy will be more than her fashion, her laughter, or her generosity — it will be her strength.
“She always put others first,” Rosie said. “But now, I want women to know it’s okay to put yourself first. You’re more valuable than you think you are.”
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org for confidential, 24-hour support.
