Social media creator Zukiswa has argued that many modern relationships fail because couples prioritize personal happiness over commitment, family stability, and what she called “the program.”
In a video shared on Instagram, Zukiswa Instagram, the creator claimed that contemporary dating culture has become overly focused on individual fulfillment, particularly women’s emotional satisfaction, at the expense of long-term partnership and family unity.
“Modern day relationships are failing because we’re focused more on our happiness than the program,” she said. “Particularly the woman’s happiness.”
Zukiswa argued that many men feel emotionally neglected or unappreciated in relationships while still being expected to remain loyal and committed.
“The man could be suffering,” she said. “The man could be eating [expletive].”
Throughout the video, she criticized what she described as growing disengagement within relationships, pointing to online jokes and memes that she believes normalize withholding affection, intimacy, and emotional support from male partners.
At the same time, Zukiswa stressed that she was not defending infidelity, saying people who do not want monogamous relationships should be honest rather than betray their partners.
“I think people need to be more honest that they are just not monogamous rather than betraying people,” she said.
One of the most debated portions of the video came when she discussed relationships involving children. Zukiswa argued that ending a family unit solely because of infidelity may not always be the wisest decision, particularly if children are involved.
“The probability that the next man is going to cheat is high,” she said. “Maybe he’ll cheat better, maybe he’ll hide it better.”
Her remarks immediately triggered divided reactions online.
Supporters agreed with her broader message that relationships require sacrifice, realism, honesty, and commitment beyond temporary emotional satisfaction.
Some commenters argued that modern social media culture promotes individualism and unrealistic romantic expectations that can destabilize families.
“I left a marriage like that over seven years ago and am married to a beautiful woman who is concerned about me as much as I am concerned about her,” one commenter shared.
Another user posting under the handle @thetobbie said, “Agree with most of this but then you sort of implied everyone who cheats does so because they are non-monogamous. Not true. People say this all the time & it’s soo wrong. Understanding non-monogamous means knowing it is a very separate thing from cheating. A cheater will cheat in any kind of relationship.”
Critics, however, pushed back strongly against suggestions that women should tolerate betrayal or remain in unhealthy relationships for the sake of preserving the family unit.
One user, @xoxogarrielle, commented sarcastically, “The program is do what I want. I’m very sweet and agreeable when I have everything I want. I’m only mean because you he-demons be looking to enlist in the program without the required resources 😭”
Another commented, “Out of touch w reality”
Others accused the commentary of unfairly placing emotional responsibility on women while minimizing the impact of infidelity and emotional neglect.
Despite the backlash, many viewers said the conversation reflected growing frustrations around dating culture, marriage expectations, gender roles, and relationship accountability in the social media era.
Toward the end of the video, Zukiswa called for a cultural shift centered on “honor,” honesty, and preserving the relationship unit rather than prioritizing vanity or appearances.
“People are getting into marriages for the wedding,” she said. “It’s all vanity. That’s why the children are messed up. That’s why the homes are broken.”
Zukiswa’s presetation highlights how conversations surrounding marriage, fidelity, gender expectations, and emotional fulfillment continue to evolve online.
