Relationship and lifestyle creator Wysdom has shared a controversial perspective on modern relationships, arguing that women can transform how men show up in relationships by changing the way they perceive them.
In a viral Instagram video posted to her account, @givingyouroyalty, Wysdom challenged what she described as today’s “modern dating culture,” claiming many women are being taught to “withhold love” and remain emotionally defensive rather than helping inspire growth in their partners.
“You summon that version of him by seeing him in his highest,” Wysdom said during the video, a stement that quickly became the focal point of online reactions.
The creator described a scenario in which a man initially pursues, pampers and provides for a woman before suddenly becoming distant or emotionally unavailable.
According to Wysdom, regaining that level of devotion begins not with confrontation, but with a shift in perception.
“If you want him to pursue you again, to pamper you, to fully provide for you, you have to create the conditions that make him want to devote himself to you,” she said.
Wysdom outlined what she called a three-step process, beginning with encouraging women to view men not through their flaws, insecurities or past mistakes, but through what she described as their “highest self.”
“You have to see him like a king,” she said. “Not his wounds, not his insecurities, not what you don’t want to see.”
She also stressed the importance of releasing resentment and emotional baggage in order to approach relationships with clarity and compassion.
“In order to see him clearly, your heart has to be clear,” she said.
Throughout the video, Wysdom presented the process in spiritual terms, encouraging women to pray for the ability to see men through what she described as God’s perspective.
“God loves his sons and he wants his sons to rise, but he uses women to do that,” she said.
According to the influencer, once a woman’s perception changes, a man will naturally begin evolving into a more attentive, devoted and emotionally grounded partner.
“He’s just going to show up as a king,” she said. “Every time he’s around you, every time he thinks about you, he’s going to remember his highest self.”
The video sparked sharply divided reactions online. Supporters praised Wysdom’s message as spiritually grounded, feminine-centered relationship advice focused on healing and encouragement rather than conflict.
“Great advice 👏👏 ladies yall better listen,” one commenter said.
“Reciprocity. Gratitude. Appreciation,” another said.
Critics, however, argued the message places emotional labor disproportionately on women and risks encouraging them to overlook unhealthy relationship dynamics.
“Partnership is a real mirror. When one takes a step back so does the other; when one draws closer so does the other,” someone pointed out.
Others debated whether her comments reinforced traditional gender roles or simply highlighted the psychological impact of affirmation and emotional support within romantic partnerships.
Despite the criticism, the clip continued gaining traction across social media platforms, fueling broader conversations about femininity, dating expectations, emotional intelligence and the evolving dynamics between men and women in modern relationships.
