A TikTok creator known as @ricathablackbarie has ignited fierce debate across social media after declaring that single women aged 45 and above without children are “damaged goods.”
In a fiery, profanity-laced video that’s now circulating widely, the influencer urged younger women to “get married in your 20s,” arguing that waiting too long “decreases your value” and limits the quality of men they can attract.
“Being 45 with no kids and no husband talking about ‘I’m still trying to find the right one’ is not a flex,” she said. “You are damaged goods at that point… You get the best man you’re going to get in your 20s. After that, you’re just a pick of a random ass litter.”
Her remarks—blunt, unapologetic, and packed with social commentary—have divided viewers, with some praising her “real talk” and others condemning what they see as misogyny disguised as advice.
The Viral Moment
In the now-viral clip (embedded in this story below), Ricathablackbarie warned women not to confuse “independence” with “delusion,” saying that time and biology eventually change the dating landscape.
While she cautioned against having children out of wedlock, sating, ‘do not go out here and have kids in your 20s if you’re not married,” she clarified that her message centers on the idea that youth is women’s greatest leverage in the dating market.
She added that both partners inevitably change over time, implying that stability in marriage comes not from ideal compatibility but from commitment and realism:
“You both are going to change. You both will have things you don’t like and things you do like. But you just can’t leave someone because of one thing you don’t like about them.
Online Backlash and Support
The reaction online has been swift and polarized.
Many users—especially women in their 30s and 40s—slammed her comments as “internalized misogyny” and “outdated,” pointing out that the idea of women “losing value” with age reinforces patriarchal standards rather than challenges them.
“So a woman’s worth is tied to her age and marital status? That’s the same thinking that’s kept generations of women stuck,” wrote one commenter.
Another viewer commented: “Girl, I’m 47 and no kids and not married and loving it. I enjoyed my 20’s I LIVED!!! I went to college got 3 degrees,did pageants from 19 to 26.”
Another said, “Did all that in my 20 and 30, now I’m divorce… don’t listen to her yall!! GO BE FREE LADIES!!!“
Others, however, supported Ricathablackbarie’s stance, calling it “harsh but true,” with several users arguing that she was simply stating the cold realities of modern dating.
“She said what most people are afraid to admit,” one supporter commented. “Men and women are both judged by different standards—and time isn’t on anyone’s side.”
The Larger Conversation
The controversy triggered by the TikTok creator taps into a long-running cultural debate about the pressures on women to marry early, the evolution of gender roles, and the ways social media amplifies blunt, often divisive takes.
Sociologists note that marriage rates have dropped significantly over the past three decades, with many women delaying marriage for education, career, or personal fulfillment. Yet, as this viral moment shows, the narrative of “aging out” of desirability continues to persist in online spaces—particularly within dating advice communities on platforms like TikTok and YouTube.
In an age where “relationship gurus” and “femininity coaches” command large followings, the line between empowerment and provocation has grown thin. Ricathablackbarie’s message—equal parts warning and judgment—lands squarely in that tension.
Between Brutal Honesty and Harmful Stereotypes
There’s an uncomfortable truth buried beneath the outrage. While her delivery was coarse, Ricathablackbarie’s message reflects a raw anxiety shared by many women navigating the modern dating market. Conversations about “timing,” “value,” and “settling” are often masked in polite language, but social media tends to strip away the nuance.
Still, reducing women’s worth to a number—or equating singleness at 45 with being “damaged goods”—does more harm than good. It dismisses the diverse, valid reasons many women remain unmarried or child-free, from personal choice to professional ambition or circumstance.
The problem isn’t that she called for accountability—it’s that she tied it to a woman’s expiration date.
Whether seen as a wake-up call or a misogynistic rant, one thing is certain: Ricathablackbarie’s viral words have reignited a cultural conversation about love, time, and the social expectations that still define women’s worth.
And in true TikTok fashion, the debate shows no signs of slowing down.
